Over the Indigenous Peoples Day
weekend, aside from the host of things I was told by individuals in the
know, unlike myself, one told me that because I’ve submitted a sample of
my Deoxyribonucleic acid to an ancestry site, ‘they’ve’ made a clone of
me who exists someplace apart from the child I helped create many years
ago.
Contemplating my cloned-self, let's refer to him as MM (mini-me)
for clarification. I shudder to think of him having to endure the same
life I endured as a child if we’re so alike in every aspect.
WARNING:
THE FOLLOWING
CONTAINS POSSIBLE 'CLONOGRAPHICAL' RECORD
OF MY DNA.
Herein, we explore what may or may not occur.
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He
may be discovered outside a single car garage by a kindly unmarried
woman 21-years older than himself who identifies herself to him as his
oldest sister. She is ecstatic.
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The
'sister's' father adopts the baby as his own despite having so many
other mouths to feed. Boy children are rare and cause much excitement in
the community.
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On
the back of one of his photographs someone will scrawl, in pencil, "See
how they do him. They dress him up and just have a circus with him and
he likes it."
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Another kindly unmarried woman 19-years older than himself identifies herself to him as his second-oldest sister. She is ecstatic too and thus begins her career as a successful ventriloquist.
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The
sisters put him in dangerous positions. Here he is on a kitchen
countertop propped against a cupboard next to an open kitchen sink.
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MM in water-filled kitchen sink without safety restraints. Brrr.
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He gets his first wheeled horse.
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He gets his first recreational vehicle.
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He braves the outdoors. Is sent on a vision quest.
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He rejoins his ancestral spirit.
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He begins to call himself "El Gaucho."
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He suffers a setback during potty
training. Sisters won't let him forget it. They stalk him when he least
expects it.
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"Whhaaat? HEY! I'm nekked here!"
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| Christmas Day may hold bonuses. A cowboy hat, cowboy boots, pants, fringed vest, a sled -- and a gun! Older sister 3 only gets a camera. |
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Sisters 1 & 2 attempt to create the 'Cool Guy' look.
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With distinctive styles like these, MM is sure to be a Sunday School favorite with all the babes.
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As history will play out, MM will tend to raise hell afterward.
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One
night, MM will see a show on TV or whatever media rich programming
exists at about this age -- or sooner, that will drastically change the
trajectory of his life. He will begin to plan. Watch for it.
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| He will start reading the newspaper and looking at magazines. |
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And taking copious notes.
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| Watch out Luke Combs and all you other mediocre Country singers. MM is out there somewhere! Happy Trails To You! |
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