I've had quite the time purchasing 'battery-powered lanterns' as of late. This is my 3rd battery-powered lantern, er, flashlight, of different brands that I have purchased (two of which I returned for refund, to no fault of the store). I had to record this one because it seemed to beg noting.
The bright-yellow and black flashlight I purchased is a Eveready Readyflex Floating Lantern, I guess, for it was only upon very close examination of the label after I got the product home, that I noted there was a facsimile of one floating in water. I don't think I'll test it. I just thought, judging by its low price of five bucks, including two batteries, that it was a no-brainer easey-peasey, plunk the 2 batteries-in job. How difficult could it be?
It has a single 80 lumen LED light and a 4-inch diameter screw-on cap. Two size D SUPER HEAVY DUTY batteries came with it wrapped in adhesive plastic on which was printed two images; one of two batteries side by side, below which was printed "Uses 2 or 4" in three different languages. And another image of four batteries side by side in a group. What? How do you get them all in here at the same time?
Putting the two batteries in on one side of the vertical compartment divider, I screwed down the cap with some serious determination careful not to cross-thread it and pushed the switch. The light came on. Good. It's pretty bright with a light radius of 24" from 16-feet.
When I put in two more batteries, in the adjoining compartment, the light radius was the same. So why was this lantern built like this? What's the advantage of using four batteries if, seemingly, there's no increase in brightness? Why buy four batteries when two will do? Maybe two can be reversed, so as not to function, and be used later when the first two go dead?
There's an imprint inside the body of the lantern that a person can barely make out that depicts a horizontal battery setup of a single battery plus two batteries plus a single battery and doesn't seem to apply to this lantern. Or does it?
I'll call my very old friend Jeff. He's my lifelong friend from the old country who I've known since we both lived across Des Moines Street from one another as mere children. He specializes in criminal law, and anything electrical/mechanical/political and especially satirical.
I call and say, "Hey, I've got a Size D 1.5v battery question. So I bought this flashlight, see, and it says I can use two or four 1.5v batteries in it. What the hell? I'm sayin'. And why use four of them little batteries when two will do the trick? It isn't any brighter. What gives?"
I can hear him tying another bag of garbage up that he's going to dump down the chute in his building, smashing beer cans flat from the top down with one of his sandals, using one foot then the other (he's very good at anything he does/meticulous); lives on the 13th floor, believe it or not. Yes, the thirteenth floor. Hey, in this building there is.
Makes quite a racket from that high up, all that can and garbage bag smashing, stuffing a big bag like that down a too small chute. Yep, he has a stick with special flat end on it ... It's like the second or third bag he's thrown since he got up from his nap. He can barely hear me ...
"YES! SO I WAS SAYING! I HAVE A BATTERY QUESTION TO ASK YOU! A BATTERY QUESTION! BATTERIES! GOOD GRIEF, GO BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT SO WE CAN TALK!"
Well, I can tell you what he said, in short, was that this here flashlight can run on two batteries, but carries four batteries. Two as backup, like I thought. That four batteries last longer than just two ... Or, possibly, they designed it to use less power using four. Traditionally, lanterns like this used one six volt battery, as I was supposed to recall, -- which, voltage-wise is the same as four 1.5 volt batteries anyway. Maybe it's a supply issue. Who knows?
So he dummies it down for me, knowing I'm eight years older and all, he says "You can drink four beers faster without using a straw, but if youse wanna stretch them four beers out, you use a straw. Kapeesh? Dem four batteries are beers you gotta drink with a straw if you wann 'em to last til noon! Get outa here now, I got me more garbage to dump! Love you, man! "
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