Skip to main content

Uses Two Or Four

I've had quite the time purchasing 'battery-powered lanterns' as of late. This is my 3rd battery-powered lantern, er, flashlight, of different brands  that I have purchased (two of which I returned for refund, to no fault of the store). I had to record this one because it seemed to beg noting.
 
The bright-yellow and black flashlight I purchased is a Eveready Readyflex Floating Lantern, I guess, for it was only upon very close examination of the label after I got the product home, that I noted there was a facsimile of one floating in water. I don't think I'll test it. I just thought, judging by its low price of five bucks, including two batteries, that it was a no-brainer easey-peasey, plunk the 2 batteries-in job. How difficult could it be?
 
It has a single 80 lumen LED light and a 4-inch diameter screw-on cap. Two size D SUPER HEAVY DUTY batteries came with it wrapped in adhesive plastic on which was printed two images; one of two batteries side by side, below which was printed "Uses 2 or 4" in three different languages. And another image of four batteries side by side in a group. What? How do you get them all in here at the same time?
 
Putting the two batteries in on one side of the vertical compartment divider, I screwed down the cap with some serious determination careful not to cross-thread it and pushed the switch. The light came on. Good. It's pretty bright with a light radius of 24" from 16-feet. 
 
When I put in two more batteries, in the adjoining compartment, the light radius was the same. So why was this lantern built like this? What's the advantage of using four batteries if, seemingly, there's no increase in brightness? Why buy four batteries when two will do? Maybe two can be reversed, so as not to function, and be used later when the first two go dead?
 
There's an imprint inside the body of the lantern that a person can barely make out that depicts a horizontal battery setup of a single battery plus two batteries plus a single battery and doesn't seem to apply to this lantern. Or does it?   


I'll call my very old friend Jeff. He's my lifelong friend from the old country who I've known since we both lived across Des Moines Street from one another as mere children. He specializes in criminal law, and anything electrical/mechanical/political and especially satirical.
 
I call and say, "Hey, I've got a Size D 1.5v battery question. So I bought this flashlight, see, and it says I can use two or four 1.5v batteries in it. What the hell? I'm sayin'. And why use four of them little batteries when two will do the trick? It isn't any brighter. What gives?"
 
I can hear him tying another bag of garbage up that he's going to dump down the chute in his building, smashing beer cans flat from the top down with one of his sandals, using one foot then the other (he's very good at anything he does/meticulous); lives on the 13th floor, believe it or not. Yes, the thirteenth floor. Hey, in this building there is. 
 
Makes quite a racket from that high up, all that can and garbage bag smashing, stuffing a big bag like that down a too small chute. Yep, he has a stick with special flat end on it ... It's like the second or third bag he's thrown since he got up from his nap. He can barely hear me ...
 
"YES! SO I WAS SAYING! I HAVE A BATTERY QUESTION TO ASK YOU! A BATTERY QUESTION! BATTERIES! GOOD GRIEF,  GO BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT SO WE CAN TALK!"
 
Well, I can tell you what he said, in short, was that this here flashlight can run on two batteries, but carries four batteries. Two as backup, like I thought. That four batteries last longer than just two ... Or, possibly, they designed it to use less power using four. Traditionally, lanterns like this used one six volt battery, as I was supposed to recall, -- which, voltage-wise is the same as four 1.5 volt batteries anyway. Maybe it's a supply issue. Who knows?
 
So he dummies it down for me, knowing I'm eight years older and all, he says "You can drink four beers faster without using a straw, but if youse wanna stretch them four beers out, you use a straw. Kapeesh? Dem four batteries are beers you gotta drink with a straw if you wann 'em to last til noon! Get outa here now, I got me more garbage to dump! Love you, man! "
 
 

 

 

Comments

Joe - Wednesday's Child said…
Yup. The science teacher would note that batteries achieve the desired operating voltage by connecting several cells in series; each cell adds its voltage potential to derive at the total terminal voltage. Parallel connection attains higher capacity by adding up the total ampere-hour (Ah). Choose the configuration that matches your performance need.
September 26, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Memorial to Jerry Solom August 24, 1945 -- July 23, 2019 No. 2

               Jerry Solom, August 24, 1945 -- July 23, 2019 This is a random image memorial post about my late friend, who died a year ago. I wrote a memoir/tribute to him in the Wannaskan Almanac on July 23, 2020. Here's the link to that: http://wannaskanalmanac.blogspot.com/2020/07/thursday-july-23-2020.html Me and Jerry with Marion in background in Stonington, Maine in 2015 prior to setting sail to Hull, MA. This is an excerpt from the story  "A Louisiana Ruse" by Steven G. Reynolds Published in 2000 in THE RAVEN: Northwest Minnesota's Original Art, History & Humor Journal      This describes the end of a 43-hour bus ride we took from Fargo, North Dakota to Slidell, Louisiana, where Jerry's boat was in dock prior to his voyage to Norway in 2000. I was there as part of the maintenance crew, accompanying Jerry, his son Terry Solom of Minneapolis, and their fr...
1 comment
Read more

Mac Furlong: Real Hunter

   This last Tuesday, October 1st, in Reed River, Sven saw Mac Furlong hurrying down Main Street on his way to sign up for the Big Buck Contest at Normies On Main . Mac was wearing his Reed River Bank clothes so Sven didn’t recognize him right off, Mac walking so serious like, but Sven ought to have known that about this time of year all the local deer hunters are getting real anxious. Beginning soon after the Roseau County Fair in July, hunter types begin walking about the outdoors sports departments in their local hardware stores and sporting goods shops salivating over the latest hunting gear, wearing at least one parcel of florescent orange on their person as if to let the ordinary public know that, they, in fact, are real hunters of a serious nature, although temperatures are yet in the eighties. “See here, my florescent orange insulated cap with earflaps?” “Lo and behold, my florescent-orange camo jacket with elbow padding and several important pockets?” “Check o...
3 comments
Read more

The Chicken Coop Revisited

 “Just  of Scientific Mind: The Chicken Coop Revisited.” by Steven G. Reynolds Gramma Eff was not deaf, not dumb, nor was she blind. She was not daft this Gramma Eff, just of scientific mind. She wore knee boots, a long white coat, goggles, special gloves, and entered in, a study of, chickens, and their loves. “Chickens, and their loves?” you ask, incredulously, with one raised brow, as if of what she studied hence made a mockery of you now. Gramma kept her chickens clean and altho you might think it mean she washed their feet, their beak, their bod --the neighbors thought it very odd. That no one out should enter in Gramma’s little chicken pen For Gramma too, removed her clothes her boots, her coat, her goggles--those gloves, that Gramma always wore whenever she opened that very door of all her chicken coops there we’ve learned strangers there, their presence spurned Gramma found these chickens smart, they liked color, music, art. Gramma learned their innate needs went far b...
2 comments
Read more